By the end of this lesson students will be able to revise poems to better convey feelings and help the reader imagine what something looked, sounded, smelled, tasted or felt like.
“I can revise my poem to better convey feelings and help the reader imagine what something looked, sounded, smelled, tasted or felt like.”
Writing & Language Standards
W 3.4: With guidance and support from adults, produce writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task and purpose.
W 3.5: With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, and editing.
W 4.4: Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
W 4.5: With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, and editing.
W 5.4: Produce clear and coherent writing in which the development and organization are appropriate to task, purpose, and audience.
W 5.5: With guidance and support from peers and adults, develop and strengthen writing as needed by planning, revising, editing, rewriting, or trying a new approach.
Speaking & Listening
SL 3.1a: Come to discussions prepared, having read or studied required material; explicitly draw on that preparation and other information known about the topic to explore ideas under discussion.
SL 3.1b: Follow agreed-upon rules for discussions (e.g., gaining the floor in respectful ways, listening to others with care, speaking one at a time about the topics and texts under discussion).
SL 3.1c: Ask questions to check understanding of information presented, stay on topic, and link their comments to the remarks of others.
SL 3.1d: Explain their own ideas and understanding in light of the discussion.
SL 3.6: Speak in complete sentences when appropriate to task and situation in order to provide requested detail or clarification.
SL 4.1a: Come to discussions prepared, having read or studied required material; explicitly draw on that preparation and other information known about the topic to explore ideas under discussion.
SL 4.1b: Follow agreed-upon rules for discussions and carry out assigned roles.
SL 4.1c: Pose and respond to specific questions to clarify or follow up on information, and make comments that contribute to the discussion and link to the remarks of others.
SL 4.1d: Review the key ideas expressed and explain their own ideas and understanding in light of the discussion.
SL 4.6: Differentiate between contexts that call for formal English (e.g., presenting ideas) and situations where informal discourse is appropriate (e.g., small-group discussion); use formal English when appropriate to task and situation.
SL 5.1a: Come to discussions prepared, having read or studied required material; explicitly draw on that preparation and other information known about the topic to explore ideas under discussion.
SL 5.1b: Follow agreed-upon rules for discussions and carry out assigned roles.
SL 5.1c: Pose and respond to specific questions by making comments that contribute to the discussion and elaborate on the remarks of others.
SL 5.1d: Review the key ideas expressed and draw conclusions in light of information and knowledge gained from the discussions.
SL 5.6: Adapt speech to a variety of contexts and tasks, using formal English when appropriate to task and situation.
Writing & Language Standards
L 3.1: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking.
L 3.2: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling when writing.
L 4.1: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking.
L 4.2: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling when writing.
L 5.1: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking.
L 5.2: Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English capitalization, punctuation, and spelling when writing.
-Words in Motion Wall (Created in Class)
-Poetry Writing Group Reflection Process (Step 4)
-Sample Free-Verse Poem Draft (Step 5)
-Unit 5, Tracks: “BrainDance of Words" #1
, and 4
by Debbie Gilbert
-Laptop or Tablet
Unit 5 includes the following Life & Learning Skills:
-Critical and analytic thinking
Differentiation Options will appear throughout the unit to suggest ways to scaffold or challenge student learning. Use the number of helping hands to select the level of differentiation that best supports student learning.
Highest level of scaffolding. Select this option if students are learning strategies for the first time, if the text is challenging for them, or if students require more guidance during activities. Part 1 lessons are written for the highest level of scaffolding.
Moderate scaffolding. Select this option if students require some support comprehending the text or navigating the activity.
Least amount of scaffolding/Extending the instruction. Select this option if students are ready to work more independently, move more quickly through the material, or are ready for additional challenge.
Key instructional steps where the arts are used to leverage literacy-learning (and vice versa) are marked with . Smaller leveraging moments also occur throughout the lessons.
Process: Give an overview of the lesson objective: Revise poems. Then put students into poetry writing groups and guide them through sharing and reflecting. See menu below Group Dynamics for grouping suggestions. Students revise using the class rubric and feedback from poetry writing groups and the teacher.
Teaching Tip: Group Dynamics
When developing the poetry writing groups, consider the following dynamics that will support the group when choreographing dances and performing:
-Balance students who like to hang back
-Balance boys and girls
-Break up friend groups
-Be sure to include both native English language speakers and ELL, at different stages of language acquisition, in the groups. This will facilitate modeling correct use of language and increase participation.
"Today we are going to do the most important work that poets do--revise their writing. I will put you into poetry writing groups and you will share your writing and give one another feedback. Then you will revise your poems and write final drafts."
"By the end of today's lesson, you will be able to say, 'I can revise my poem to better convey feelings and help the reader imagine what something looked, sounded, smelled, tasted or felt like'."
Process: Lead the students in one of the four BrainDances of Words (Unit 5, Tracks 1, 2, 3, or 4). Below are the cues for BrainDance #4, but feel free to select one of the other BrainDances. Students stand at the sides of their desks. Use the audio track with verbal cues and musical accompaniment for the BrainDance. If desired, instead of using the audio track, use the verbal cues below to guide students through the BrainDance. This can be facilitated as a generic BrainDance without descriptive words, with descriptive words, with or without music.
Warming Up with BrainDance
We'll start by warming up our bodies and brains with the BrainDance to prepare us to revise our poems.
Breath: Breathe quietly.
Tactile: Bouncily tap your head, your arms, your fronts, your backs, your legs, and your feet.
Core-distal: Expand your body into an enormous shape and contract into a miniscule shape.
Head-tail: Ripple your body forwards and backwards and from side to side.
Upper half: Freeze the lower half of your body. With the top half of your body, move suddenly.
Lower half: Freeze the top half of your body. With the lower half of your body, move gently.
Body-half right: Freeze the left side of your body. With the right side, move playfully.
Body-half left: Freeze the right side of your body. With the left side, move nervously.
Eye-tracking: Follow your right thumb with your eyes. Move it angrily from side to side. Follow your left thumb with your eyes. Move it unhurriedly from side to side.
Cross-lateral: Purposefully reach your arms across the front of your body on different levels.
Vestibular: Aggressively spin and then freeze in a hopeful shape.
Breath: Breathe quietly.
Hand back A4L Student Notebooks. Review the class Free-Verse Poem Rubric
with the students. Add examples to the rubric so that students can better understand how they might revise their own writing. The rubric reflects the focus of the unit: using words & phrases to communicate details about the topic, feelings, and images. Feel free to expand the rubric and your instruction on revision to include other criteria.
Process: Organize students into poetry writing groups. These will also be their final performance groups. Guide students to share their poems with their groups and to elicit feedback on one or two selected words or phrases using movement. Poets can record feedback from group members on sticky notes or write directly on their drafts. Model giving feedback if appropriate. Post the menu Poetry Writing Group Reflection Process on the board as a reference.
Process Quick View: Poetry Writing Group Reflection Process
Guide students through this process:
1. The poet reads his/her piece aloud.
2. Go around and each group member shares a "wow" in response to the piece.
3. The poet then shares one or two words or phrases for feedback and shows a shape or movement for those words or phrases.
4. Group members share observations: "I saw you (name action)."
5. Go around and each group member offers an idea for revision.
6. Repeat the process for each group member.
Explaining the Reflection Process
"In just a few minutes, you'll take your poem drafts and sit together with your poetry writing groups. Before doing that, let's talk about how to share writing and give feedback in groups. Prior to meeting with your group, you will select words or phrases to share and create a movement to go with those words.
When you meet with your group, you will decide who will share first, and that poet will read his or her poem aloud. Then each of you will offer the poet a "wow"--something you liked about how he or she used words or phrases to create an image, evoke a feeling, or convey an idea.""
"Then the poet will ask the group for feedback on one or two specific words and phrases and show a shape or movement for those words or phrases. The group will share observations of what they see. Then, each member of the group will offer the poet ideas for revision."
Guiding Reading and Selection of Words or Phrases for Feedback and Movement
"Now, read through your draft and select one or two words or phrases for feedback. (Students read poems and select words and phrases for feedback.)
When I say "Go," stand at the side of your desk and create a shape or movement that goes with your selected words or phrases. You will have a couple of minutes to create and practice your shape or movement before sharing with your writing group. Go!"" (Students create shape or movements.)
Assigning Groups and Facilitate Student Sharing and Feedback
"Now I will put you into poetry writing groups. These will also be your Words in Motion! dance groups. Take your A4L Student Notebook and a pencil and move to sit with your groups. (Students join their groups.) Decide on the order in which you will share. (Students discuss.) We're ready to use the process posted on the chart to share." (Students exchange feedback.)
Process: Students use the poetry criteria, rubric, and feedback from the teacher and writing groups to revise their poems. Remind students to visit the Words in Motion Wall for ideas. If desired, give students a copy of the rubric. Demonstrate how to mark up their poem as they revise to show that you don't need to start fresh. Revising can entail: circling words, crossing out words, adding new words to the side or above those with marks, or crossing out whole lines and rewriting them to the side.
Circulate to support students while they revise. Feel free to build in another round of revision as appropriate.
"Move back to your desks (Students return to desks.) You'll now spend some time revising your poems. Use the poetry criteria, our rubric, and the feedback you've received from your poetry writing group and me. Feel free to revisit the Words in Motion Wall for ideas."
"Before you begin revising, I'll show what revising your poem might look like. (Place sample poem draft on the document camera.) This is my poem. I've circled words and phrases that I want to revise. I got feedback from my group, and now I'm going see if I can change some words to make an image or feeling stronger or clearer. I have lots of choices."
"I can choose different words or phrases, rephrase parts, rearrange parts of the poem, or break up lines. Notice how I mark up the poem as I revise--I am circling words, crossing some out, writing new words above those that are crossed out. (Demonstrate marking up poem and making changes. Think aloud about how the revisions better communicate feelings, images, and details about the topic.) I am crossing out entire lines and writing my new version to the side. Later, I will rewrite the entire poem to incorporate all my revisions."
"Now you try. Spend some time revising your poem. I will circulate to support you. When you feel like you are finished, let me know, and we'll look over your poem together" (Students revise.)
Students write their revised poem on the Free-Verse Poem Final Draft on pages 24-25
in their A4L Student Notebooks.
Process: Close the lesson with a look forward describing the next lesson.
"In our next lesson, you will get into groups and begin creating dances for your poems."
Performing The Closing Ritual (Optional)
"To close our theater lessons, we'll appreciate our work and each other with a unified clap.
On three we'll all clap once and say, 'Huh!' 1-2-3 (clap) Huh!"
CONGRATULATIONS ON COMPLETING LESSON 11! YOU ARE NOW READY TO MOVE ONTO LESSON 12 OF UNIT 5.